Forgiveness: Healing Through Letting Go of Grievances

“​Love…does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.”​ 1 Corinthians 13:5

Forgiveness is perhaps the most foundational aspect of love. One cannot love without forgiving. It may also be the most powerful medicine known – not a pill or procedure, but an inner shift with profound healing benefits. “To forgive is to set a prisoner free, and then discover that the prisoner was actually you.” (Henri Nouwen)

Forgiveness is not denial, excusing, or forgetting. It does not mean condoning injustice or dropping all boundaries, inviting further harm. Instead, it means letting go of your grievance and the right to avenge a wrong. Forgiveness is releasing resentment—letting go of the emotional poison that keeps the wound open. It is choosing to live by a higher path of grace over bitterness. You can forgive even when reconciliation is impossible because forgiveness happens inside your own heart.  

Forgiving is good for you. Neurologically, it alters brain activity in the prefrontal cortex (responsible for empathy and decision-making) and quiets the amygdala (the brain’s alarm center for fear and anger). When this shift occurs, the nervous system relaxes, stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline drop, and feel-good biochemicals such as oxytocin and endorphins increase. Biologically, this lowers blood pressure, strengthens immunity, and improves sleep. The body mirrors the soul’s release — peace in the mind brings peace to the cells.

I know of a woman who suffered years of extreme anxiety after a painful divorce and found peace only when she released her bitterness. Therapy helped her reframe the story, but it was the moment she said, “I forgive him,” that her panic attacks ceased. Another man, bedridden with chronic pain, began a daily practice of forgiving his ex-business partner, who had harmed him greatly—ruining his life, as he said. Over the weeks, his pain eased, his mobility returned, and he described feeling “as if a burden had been lifted and he could finally breathe.”

Unforgiveness hurts ourselves far more than it hurts the other person. Forgiveness heals because it removes an internal blockage, allowing Love to flow freely and enabling us to once again experience AWE.  

​Aware​: Is there anyone—including yourself, or even God—with whom you hold a grievance?

Wonder​: Why am I holding on to that? What would happen if I truly let it go?

​Eject​: Release it now, to the best of your ability. Breathe out the weight of judgment and breathe in peace.

Letting go may take time. Old wounds may resurface. But each time they do, release them again. With every act of forgiveness, the grip loosens—and you come closer to the radiant freedom of a healed heart.

• Julian of Norwich: “God’s forgiveness is endless, covering all with His love.” (Revelations of Divine Love)

• Desmond Tutu: “Forgiveness liberates the soul; it removes fear and transforms the heart.” (The Book of Forgiving)

• Bhagavad Gita 16:3: “Forgiveness is one of the qualities of the divine.”

• Matthew 6:14-15: “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (NIV)

AWE
Aware.  Which quote speaks to you?
Wonder.  Contemplate what this means to you.
Enjoy/Engage/Experience.  What is your next step?

• Henri Nouwen: “To forgive is to set the prisoner free, only to discover that the prisoner was you.” (The Return of the Prodigal Son)

• Mahatma Gandhi (New Source): “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” (The Story of My Experiments with Truth)

• Tao Te Ching 64: “The wise let go of grievances, flowing like water around obstacles.”

• Ephesians 4:31-32: “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger… Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (NIV)

AWE
Aware.  Which quote speaks to you?
Wonder.  Contemplate what this means to you.
Enjoy/Engage/Experience.  What is your next step?

• Martin Luther King Jr.: “Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a permanent attitude.” (Strength to Love)

• Desmond Tutu: “Without forgiveness, there’s no future. Forgiveness is nothing less than the way we heal the world.” (The Book of Forgiving, 2014)

• Zend-Avesta, Yasna 34.6: “Forgiveness is the bridge to wholeness, a gift from the Creator.”

• Psalm 147:3: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (NIV)

AWE
Aware.  Which quote speaks to you?
Wonder.  Contemplate what this means to you.
Enjoy/Engage/Experience.  What is your next step?

• Brené Brown: “Forgiving ourselves is the first step toward wholehearted living.” (The Gifts of Imperfection)

• Jack Kornfield: “If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.”
  (The Wise Heart: A Guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology, 2008)

• Bhagavad Gita 11:41-42: “I ask for forgiveness for all I have done in ignorance, whether in thought, word, or deed.”

• Isaiah 1:18: “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.” (NIV)

AWE
Aware.  Which quote speaks to you?
Wonder.  Contemplate what this means to you.
Enjoy/Engage/Experience.  What is your next step?

• Kahlil Gibran: “Forgiveness is the fragrance that flowers give to the hand that crushed them.” (The Prophet)

• Bernard Meltzer:  “When you forgive, you in no way change the past—but you sure do change the future.” (The Forbes Book of Business Operations)

• Rig Veda 1.89.8: “Those who forgive walk the path of peace, reflecting the light of the Eternal.”

• Matthew 5:9: “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” (NIV)

AWE
Aware.  Which quote speaks to you?
Wonder.  Contemplate what this means to you.
Enjoy/Engage/Experience.  What is your next step?

• Julian of Norwich: “God’s forgiveness is endless, covering all with His love.” (Revelations of Divine Love)

• Henri Nouwen: “To forgive is to set the prisoner free, only to discover that the prisoner was you.” (The Return of the Prodigal Son)

• Desmond Tutu: “Without forgiveness, there’s no future. Forgiveness is nothing less than the way we heal the world.” (The Book of Forgiving, 2014)

• Brené Brown: “Forgiving ourselves is the first step toward wholehearted living.” (The Gifts of Imperfection)

• Kahlil Gibran: “Forgiveness is the fragrance that flowers give to the hand that crushed them.” (The Prophet)

• Ephesians 4:31-32: “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger… Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (NIV)

AWE
Aware.  Which quote speaks to you?
Wonder.  Contemplate what this means to you.
Enjoy/Engage/Experience.  What is your next step?