Surrender and Trust: Letting Go of Control

I like being in control—knowing the plan, managing outcomes, steering things toward my desires. Yet, with age, I’ve come to understand how little control I truly possess. I cannot dictate the actions of the driver in the other lane, the wind or rain, the toxins in the air, or the words and actions of those I love. I cannot even control when or how I will die.

The theme of my autumn meditations is letting go. As the seasons of life unfold, we find that control steadily slips from our grasp—especially concerning our bodies and minds. This loss can feel daunting. However, there is a deeper wisdom: letting go is not a sign of weakness—it is divine.

Consider how God, in love, relinquishes control. One of humanity’s greatest gifts is free will. God could have created us as automatons, responding solely to divine command. Instead, God granted us the freedom to choose between good and evil, helpfulness and harm. In doing so, God surrendered control over outcomes and took a risk.

Yet it is this very risk that allows for genuine relationships. Love cannot be coerced; it must be freely given and received. By creating beings with freedom, God permitted both heartbreak and beauty, rebellion and redemption. This is divine surrender—the willingness to release control so that love can be authentic.

Some may argue, “But God is in control.” However, this would mean that my angry thoughts, hurtful deeds, and every act of cruelty, hate, and injustice originate from God’s will—raising questions  like how to reconcile that with divine goodness.Perhaps the only control God exercises is that of Love itself, a steady, patient force that never manipulates but always invites, heals, and restores. Maybe God understood that no evil can ultimately withstand the universe’s most powerful force—love—and that darkness will eventually be overcome by light.

In this way, letting go is not giving up—it is aligning ourselves with the very heart of God. To release control is to trust that Love is enough, that what truly matters does not depend on our grasp but on our willingness to open our hands. 

Take a moment to practice AWE:

• Aware – What in your life are you struggling to control or unable to release?
• Wonder – What might it look like if you let go and trusted Love to do its work?
• Eject (or Embrace) – Release what you cannot control, and rest in divine peace. 

Letting go is not losing; it is returning to the flow of grace, where God has been waiting all along.

• Thomas Merton: “We are not called to see the whole road but to take the next step in trust.” (No Man Is an Island)

• Julian of Norwich: “God’s love never fails; in Him, all shall be well.” (Revelations of Divine Love)

• Rumi: “Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Trust that the Beloved knows the way.” (The Essential Rumi)

• Bhagavad Gita 18:66: “Surrender to Me alone with a full heart, and I will deliver you from all fears.”

• Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (NIV)

AWE
Aware.  Which quote speaks to you? 
Wonder.  Contemplate what this means to you. 
Enjoy/Engage/Experience.  What is your next step?

• Brené Brown: “Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our most accurate measure of courage. (Daring Greatly)

• Rumi: “Be like the reed, bending in the wind, trusting the unseen hand that moves you.” (The Essential Rumi)

• Tao Te Ching 22: “By yielding, you overcome; by surrendering, you find strength.”

• The Dhammapada 336: “The wise do not fear the unknown but embrace it as part of the path to wisdom.”

• Psalm 46:10: “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” (NIV)

AWE
Aware.  Which quote speaks to you? 
Wonder.  Contemplate what this means to you. 
Enjoy/Engage/Experience.  What is your next step?

• St. John of the Cross: “Faith is the light that guides us through the dark night of the soul.” (The Dark Night of the Soul)

• Henri Nouwen: “Trust is a leap of faith into the arms of a loving God.” (The Return of the Prodigal Son)

• Marcus Aurelius: “Accept whatever comes to you woven in the pattern of your destiny, for what could more aptly fit your needs?” (Meditations 4.26)

• Rumi: “Trust the mystery of life, for it holds a beauty beyond what the eyes can see.” (The Essential Rumi)

• Isaiah 41:10: “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (NIV)

AWE
Aware.  Which quote speaks to you? 
Wonder.  Contemplate what this means to you. 
Enjoy/Engage/Experience.  What is your next step?

• St. Benedict of Nursia: “The path to peace is in surrendering our will to God’s will.” (The Rule of St. Benedict)

• Julian of Norwich: “God holds all things in His hands; surrender and trust in His care.” (Revelations of Divine Love)

• Rumi: “Let go of control, for it is an illusion; the Beloved holds all the threads.” (The Essential Rumi)

• Bhagavad Gita 3:35: “It is better to fail in one’s own duty than to succeed in the duty of another. Follow your path in surrender.”

• Matthew 11:28-30: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (NIV)

AWE
Aware.  Which quote speaks to you? 
Wonder.  Contemplate what this means to you. 
Enjoy/Engage/Experience.  What is your next step?

• Thomas Merton: “The soul at peace is the soul that trusts in God’s will.” (Thoughts in Solitude)

• Thich Nhat Hanh: “Peace is present right here and now, in ourselves and in everything we do and see.” (Peace Is Every Step)

• Rumi: “Surrender is not defeat but the doorway to freedom and joy.” (The Essential Rumi)

• Romans 8:28: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (NIV)

AWE
Aware.  Which quote speaks to you? 
Wonder.  Contemplate what this means to you. 
Enjoy/Engage/Experience.  What is your next step?

• Thomas Merton: “We are not called to see the whole road but to take the next step in trust.” (No Man Is an Island)

• Brené Brown: “Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our most accurate measure of courage.” (Daring Greatly)

• St. John of the Cross: “Faith is the light that guides us through the dark night of the soul.” (The Dark Night of the Soul)

• Rumi: “Let go of control, for it is an illusion; the Beloved holds all the threads.” (The Essential Rumi)

• Thich Nhat Hanh: “Peace is present right here and now, in ourselves and in everything we do and see.” (Peace Is Every Step)

• Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (NIV)

AWE
Aware.  Which quote speaks to you? 
Wonder.  Contemplate what this means to you. 
Enjoy/Engage/Experience.  What is your next step?